theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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