im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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