Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize