the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
