tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
