my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize