I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
