guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
