My friends, they love my intelligence
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
