I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
