I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize