Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
