forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My vagina just recognized that song.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
