The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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