talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
