wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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