your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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