Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
where am i from again
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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