Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
