She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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