I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
