girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
