Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
