dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
