I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
