Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize