just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
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im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
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The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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