y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
