there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
this hospital has no fireball
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
