Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
