she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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