I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
