The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She's the barista slut.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
