Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
