Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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