I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Me too!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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