Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize
