One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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