I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
