So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
