Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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