she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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