just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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