Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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