i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
