remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The power of my boobs compel you
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize