On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
