Cold hands, warm shart.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
