I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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