Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
