You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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