Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
