yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
