brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
