By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
pop tarts are not kleenex
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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