I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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