Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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