Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
soo... how was my night?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
