i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I haven't been this sober since birth.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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