White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
