i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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