Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize