i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
