You made me cry and you don't even care
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
