Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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