am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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