Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
