That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
