You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
