I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
